VICTORY

They were many and they weren’t like us so we bombed them.

We girded ourselves with the grace of God and we charged them.

They prayed to be saved from the foreign devils

but we didn’t really fancy wearing horns and tails

no they didn’t understand our point of view

so we shot them.

They popped right up again everywhere

and we couldn’t understand why they kept on coming

no we didn’t understand how they killed us in the end

how they freed us from our skins.

So we stormed their heaven

with its minarets and virgins

and we chased them all away

now we’re here to stay.

 

 

QUESTIONS

 

the first question I have for you is about coffee

do you like coffee

the second question I have for you is also about coffee

where is your cup

all the rest of the questions I have for you are also about coffee

would you say you were a good friend of coffee

or simply a close associate

how many times a day are you thinking of it

when you are not drinking of it

are you wandering into fantasies of a rich Cuban blend

when you should be focusing on your spreadsheet

or obsessing on some unattainable perfection of Kona

while your boss is speaking to you

do you find your casual conversations

often turning to the subject of coffee

do you secretly fantasize about frequenting coffeehouses

sitting there all day long like some decadent poet

watching teenage girls ordering lattes

well why does coffee fascinate you so much

here have some more coffee

if coffee were spelled any other way than it is spelled

how would it be spelled

if it smelled any other way than it smelled how would it smell

you say you don’t know

why do you frequently spill your coffee

are you nervous that I am asking you so many questions about coffee

are you afraid I am going to find out too much

about your relationship with coffee

or any other relationships you might have with friendly beverages

why do you lick your cup when you have finished drinking your coffee

do you think you might need to join a support group

why won't you look at me when I ask you these questions about coffee

do you have anything to hide

why were coffeebeans found in your pockets

does your wife know about you and coffee

does she ever catch you sipping on the side

do you have any coffee stains to show me

do you prefer it piping hot

I refer of course to coffee

or do you like it iced

have another cup of Colombian

I see you don’t object

you’ve traveled south of the border haven’t you

you’ve been in those mountains in those fields

laboring with the peasants

you have sympathies don’t you

you are a true believer in coffee aren’t you

you would fight to the death for coffee

you would commit terrorist acts for the cause of coffee

wouldn’t you

—are you now or have you ever been???

that will be all the questions at this time

about coffee